I just wanted to share my journey with shrooms with you all. I recently started this and I think it’s time to come back and tell you guys what I have learned from doing micro dosing shrooms for 30 days.
If you’re ready for that sit back grab some popcorn. My name is Lacey. First will be my history with depression and struggling with anxiety and all of that, second will be my thought process and decision on trying shrooms as a way of helping my depression, and third will be my process on trying them, and fourth will be my final thoughts did it help me? did it not?
I hope to answer the question of can shrooms help cure depression. The simple answer is yes they have helped me so so so so much but there were also things I had to do myself that allowed them to help me as much as they did. So it’s not a one magic cure-all pill that is going to magically erase everything wrong in your life. There is nothing like that in the world but I would say shrooms do get pretty darn close.
So if that’s all you came here to hear, then they have helped me tremendously and I cannot thank them enough. So there you go.
Microdosing for depression
I would say I have struggled with depression since I was 14, like when I was 14 it really just kicked me in the face. In high school I was just an awkward and scared kid and I did not really know what to do.
I was so I was so unnerved by just myself and who I was, and I remember my first time really struggling with suicide. I was in my room so sad, just I hated my life. I hated who I was as a person I hated the way I looked, I was miserable and this was really before speaking about mental health was commonplace and
something that was accepted.
I was just struggling with being really sad and I didn’t know why. I remember one night I was so sad and I went up to my parents room. I thought neither of them were there and I was searching for pills because I was done with this. I’m so angry at life and I just don’t want to do this anymore. I cannot do this anymore. I am miserable I hate this I hate myself so I wanted to find whatever pill she had and I was gonna take them. Luckily, she had been in the room and instead of me doing something crazy that I would have regretted she was able to calm me down and hug me and hold me. Just really tell me how loved I am.
After that I got therapy maybe once or twice but I’ve never stuck with it so I got kind of better and that’s how my cycle has always been. After an episode I’ll usually get kind of better and I’ll be fine and I’ll go back to doing my everyday life and everyday things and then it usually always comes back. No matter how long it’s been no matter how many times I’ve tried other things, new things, it’s has always come back and it is haunted me my entire life.
I remember being involuntarily admitted to a mental hospital when I was in college because I was so miserable. I was there for a week, it was the most eye-opening experience that I’ve ever had but also the scariest and the saddest. My parents were so worried and scared because I was in college, so I was hours away from them and there was nothing they could do.
I was just there and this was the time in my life where I had a very abusive boyfriend and it was a very bad dynamic. I wasn’t happy in school. I was overwhelmed and I just could not stop thinking about ending everything and I’m sorry if this is triggering for some. This is going to be a very triggering article if you don’t like to talk about anxiety depression.
Microdosing helped me deal with my depression
I want to share this with you because I feel like it could definitely help some people. So if you were anything like me and you have really really struggled with just finding out why you’re so depressed and why these things continue to happen (because mine has always come back) and if you’re anything like me then I really think this can help you a lot.
It was always so interesting to me to look at my depression because I always felt so ungrateful. My life is so beautiful, I have both parents I had siblings who loved me, I’m not destitute or poor or or ugly – I’m not any of these.
But I was just never happy or content with myself and who I was. It was just overwhelming to always have to deal with never feeling good enough and never feeling like I was worthy enough. Never respecting myself, never feeling like I could do any of the things I wanted to do in life. I always felt miserable. I never knew how to fix it or what I was doing wrong.
I cannot wait, one day maybe hopefully I’ll get over it. How do I fix this? where am I going in life? why am I so sad?
Does talking to people work? Sometimes yes, yes it does. People who can subjective, objectively look at your life and tell you are great. Therapists are wonderful! Everyone should have a therapist. I truly 100% believe everyone should have a therapist.
Back to my story. So about two years ago now, I decided I was again depressed. I was so confused because I was doing things I wanted to do. I was a makeup artist as I thought that was my dream. I thought that’s what I was living for. I love, always loved, makeup. I was at working at MAC. I had a good boyfriend. I was living in New York. I had friends who loved me, my parents were supporting me in my dreams and goals and I was still so miserable.
I loved my boyfriend but I didn’t feel like he was the one for me and it really was an immense conflict within myself. It felt wrong being there and it’s not to say like anything was wrong with the people. I was with people I liked.
I just was so sad all the time I would barely leave my room. If I wasn’t at work, I just wouldn’t do it. I was in freakin New York and I was still so sad and I was like what is going on with me?
And that’s when I finally decided I’m not doing this anymore. I’m changing my life. After that I moved home and I realized I had so much to learn about who I was and what I needed. I’ve learned that people come to themselves different. I needed to come home to fix the issues that were wrong. I needed to confront my ex who I was still in love with I needed to confront my father who we’ve always had like these little issues in our relationship.
Microdosing mushrooms changed my life
I still felt this little nagging in the back of my head that it was still there like something was gonna flip that switch, that I was going to be back in a perpetual state of misery. I was so afraid of that I decided this is it I’m not doing this again I’ve come too far to go back there, I never want to go back there again. I want this to be the final time I have to deal with this, so that is how I came to my decision on maybe I should try microdosing mushrooms.
It wasn’t to say I just came to this decision out of nowhere. I had done some research on shrooms and what what they really can do. So now I was interested and I was curious, so I started researching and I realized I saw so many things about micro dosing and shrooms. “helped cure my depression” and “shrooms have changed my life” and so I got really really interested.
I was like if this could work for them maybe it could work for me so I tried them two times. I took 4 grams each time and I did this kind of like ceremonial thing where I laid my yoga mat out, my Bible next to me, my crystals, and a book in case I needed to write anything down.
I laid there and I delved into my subconscious and I just learned some things about myself that I had I had no idea were there during these two experiences. That’s the thing about shrooms, they’re not going to change your life just from taking them, but they will show you the path. They’re the tool that helps you find the path that you need to be on.
They exploit all of those little things that you’re covering up inside, that you’re hiding that you don’t want to deal with. They make you confront them head on and that was my biggest thing. Sometimes you want to heal and you want to be better and you want to try to do new things but your subconscious might not allow it because these things have been so deeply hidden in your psyche.
That was my thing, how do I deal with this? how do I allow these things to come to the surface so I can confront them head-on. That’s what shrooms did – they brought my problems to the surface so I was allowed to finally see what was going on in my head and why I kept coming back to this state of utter depression and misery over and over again.
Microdosing mushrooms is easy
So that was definitely my thought process on how I decided maybe I should try them for 30 days and see what happens. When I did this I realized I did not want to take them like they are because to me shrooms do not taste good, they are very nasty. After eating 4 grams of shrooms I wanted to throw up so bad.
After then I was like I can’t do this again. They just did not sit right with my stomach, so I decided maybe let’s try something different. So I researched how to take shrooms in pill form or some other form because I’ve tried tea before and it was just too much work, so what I did was I bought a pack of micro doses online.
I was like “oh this is so much easier” I don’t have to taste them, that really helped my journey a lot not having to taste them. After I’d come to this conclusion that I was gonna do this for 30 days just to see what it would do for me.
I’ve watched so many videos about that how they just made you feel like you were having a really good day especially taking a small dose you could still function. You could still be like a person in society and they aren’t very addictive. They aren’t addictive at all honestly.
I don’t feel the need to go trip right now. I think that’s a question a lot of you have – how addictive they are. I would say much less addictive than weed and they’re like the least addictive substance I’ve probably ever tried and they’re the least harmful.
They really didn’t make me feel any kind of addiction. At first I did feel some sort of addiction it was like “oh I like this feeling a lot” They made me feel happier and they got me out of my comfort zone and talking to people.
I have this problem with talking to people and opening up easily and doing small talk. It’s really not my thing and it really makes me kind of uncomfortable so it allowed me to just loosen up and be able to have conversations with people and I did like that.
Over time as I kept doing them, and as I kept realizing things about my life and myself, the less I needed them and that was the best part about them because the more you do them the more you realize what’s going on in your head and the less you have to do them in order to come to these same conclusions without them.
How micro dosing mushrooms helped my anxiety
So the first 30 days. The first week or so it was very fun and I really enjoyed them. They were allowing me to just relax and calm myself, but I will say that the thing about shrooms is they don’t just make you happy. I thought they were just like a happy pill. I’ve seen people say that, but in fact what they do is they amplify whatever emotions you’re feeling at that time. So that is why people say never take shrooms in a bad state because you’ll have a bad trip because they’re amplifying what you’re feeling and this goes for micro dosing.
The first week I would take my microdose every other day instead every three days because I was really enjoying them. But as time went on I would take them once every three days, once every four days, once every five days because I started to need them less and less.
I started to realize the beauty in my life that I couldn’t see before. I would say it took down this barrier that was in front of my eyes that was holding me back from seeing how much love and happiness are truly in my life. With that came the thought that my life is beautiful.
After I’d done them for awhile it became so much clearer how amazing my life is and how grateful I am for it. I started crying a lot more but the tears they were such happy tears. I cry so much now but it’s because I’m so grateful for everything I have and everyone in my life and the people around me and just who I am.
I love myself, that was the one thing that I will never not be grateful for with shrooms. They made me realize who I was and it’s not to say they did it by themselves but with their help I was able to navigate myself better. I was able to find out what I needed and what I did it I was able to be honest with myself about situations that I didn’t want to be honest with myself about.
I know everyone has things they lie to themselves about but at the end of the day the more you lie to yourself, the more hurt you’re causing yourself and I was continuously lying to myself about certain things. Just about my relationships and what I wanted out of a person and what I wanted out of myself and how I was dealing with them. So that was really really eye-opening for me it was truly a wonderful experience.
I don’t regret doing them at all like at all. I think this could truly help certain people overcome things that they have struggled to overcome their entire lives. It really helps you see the beauty and how precious existence is and that is so important. It helped me live in the now.
I don’t think I would be here without this experiment of micro dosing for 30 days. I am just so elated, just happy, just grateful.
I hope this message finds you and it helps you, maybe they can help you too. Sometimes we do need a little help, a little more than we can give ourselves. Not everybody can afford therapy that is like the honest truth of our world.
Take care of yourself.